Leave...

Can i just leave this place,this hell on Earth,without doing anything.is there a way to leave this world,without blood,without pills,without pain?just like every organ in the body starts malfunctioning,switiching off one by one.saying i would wait for you to come back,but my heart cant wait longer,i cant stay a second without thinking of you,cant live without you.people say just let it go,it aint as easy as you think.its always EASIER SAID THAN DONE.stop judging me for not letting go.why does it seems like my world comes crumblin' down immediately when you walked out on me.why does it seems like the world turned it back against me? Left in this empty pit.lonelier than lonely.unloved creep.nobody is gonna understand this feeling.so keep leaving.keep judging.keep hating.i hate me more than you hate me.both you and i know you want me dead,i want me dead.my inner demon is just killing me inside out,im just a living with a dead heart,aint gonna survive long with this hole striaght through my heart.
its like making a child let go of his balloon,they are obviously attached to it,they wont let go.even if they were to,they would cry non-stop.same thing,one moment without you is me trying to hold back those endless tears.leave me to die with my tear stained face,lying there on my bed with ever organ failing,till i die,till there's no pulse,no heartbeat.till then.
Maybe if i got discovered by cops,with the picture of my tear stained face,all lifeless,pale,weak and hopeless on the news.maybe you will see it.maybe you will go to my funeral,regret the day you dumped me.maybe ypu will secretly go to my grave everyday.bring yourself to the top of a building with legs dangling,hoping to join me.maybe with a knife against your wrist.maybe swallowing pills everyday,hoping to die.
or maybe you wont even remember me when you see my picture?how about that?maybe you are with that other girl,forgeting me,forgetting our memories,our days,our promises,our swears,our friendship.do you still care?or will you only care when i aint around any longer?